The after effects of music competition.

I was feeling miserable for missing the music competition in which my first ever crush would be singing, secondly I was curious regarding the ‘hole’ that helped us escape from the school and happy looking at the empty Madhavan park. We wanted to play something to kill time, but we didn’t  even have a tennis ball to play catches. So we started discussing about our respective crushes, Darshan was crazy about Bhavya, he insisted that everyone should have to accept they feel for someone to elbowed me to explain my feel on Spandana, I replied I didn’t have any  and probed regarding Aishwarya, he always addressed her as Baldwin’s girl, I ignored his rants as usual and stayed put and looked at the clear blues December skies of Bangalore. Then thankfully he changed the topic to movies, he was a bigtime film buff. I looked at my watch and realised that it was almost 4:45 and we had to attend tuitions at 5:30 and we didn’t have cycles that day, so Darshan and I decided to walk from Madhavan park, all the way till interiors of NR colony , it is one straight road, but roughly 4 kilometres. We walked so carelessly and spoke so loudly, passers-by would stop to glance at us, uncivilized and in uniform. We abused each other in a jovial way and hurled abuses on every family member of people we mutually hated. Tie had been lowered, shirt untucked and first two buttons opened.

As soon as we entered our class teacher’s hall, he scolded us for being so unkempt and also he had heard us swear, we hadn’t noticed him ride past us on his hero Honda Splendor. He said you both will never learn anything and allowed us to sit, we sat silently. After few minutes Spandana came in, everyone started clapping and then I realised that she had won the competition and I had missed her song, I gave an angry look to Darshan. Shravya came and sat next in the next row, I asked her “you lost right the competition right?” and smiled mockingly, “bugger off, loafer!” She replied angrily, I could sense she was upset and jealous at the same time, Spandana who sat next to her whispered to me “how was my song?” To which I replied, “I was in Madhavan park as I had bunked” , Shravya exclaimed in a shock, Spandana responded” you are really an idiot” , I could notice she was upset I had missed her song. I hated Darshan to the core that day, he resumed his regular monkey antics, Spandana and I looked at each other multiple times that day, I had a strange feeling of unexplainable joy and longing simultaneously.


A day in the life of an IT engineer.

Life of an IT engineer, well not all that glossy and glamourous as it seems, especially for a person who despised that line all his life and who always dreamt of working on awesome stuff like energy and power. Especially when you are supporting a customer who can’t speak English, well atleast not in an accent that you follow. People in other industries envy you, especially your classmates from Mechanical engineering class, those lucky assholes who managed to get to work on stuff they were trained to do.

As per Indian scale you are being paid peanuts and made to work with those people who can’t use a machine that’s dumb as shit, yes, they work at a time when Sun is directly looking at their cities while our city is plunged in darkness, with constant howling of dogs like we do on our headphones, ghosts, well have vacated the city after being unable to tolerate humans invading their life. You may work for a fancy multinational with fancy sounding names or work for some local firm, it’s all the same, you dress like a slob.

 Boring meetings, disgusting team outings, everyone seems so nice that they would put your closest and most trusted friends to shame, however they would bloody abandon you the day you quit the organization, of course out of sight is out of mind. Agreed employment is important, that doesn’t imply to sell your souls for few extra bucks. Did we all study different branches of engineering to work on same stuff? First of all choosing engineering when our passion lied elsewhere was a bigger mistake than joining a IT firm. Few brave ones who opt a course other than  engineering would end up earning more and being happy at the same time, however being mocked by your neighbors or relatives, but would also set up businesses hiring IT professionals, just like a major entertainment firm hiring engineers to resolve their technical issues. Maybe they would be avenging the insults thrown at them during their student year by comparing with engineering counterparts.

Lawyer working his ass off to resolve an issue with some moronic issue, instead of arguing for something that’s worth his degree, or an English language expert instead of working on teaching the language or use it to  write amazing stuff would work on servers and trying to understand the language of the machine by analyzing it’s logs.

This will not end, well I do not have the power to change it for everyone, but I surely have to change for me. 


Music competition!

December of 2005 was one of the most eventful Decembers I have ever had in my life, starting with, Aishwarya getting angry, who called me a “capitalist ass”, my phases of being a philosopher/ scientist and a perpetual class nuisance. I used to feel that everyone enjoyed my antics, but in reality there were matured souls back then as well, who had the seriousness to study deligently, Darshan and I were starting to get on everyone’s nerves, we did have a considerable number of haters, all members of the nerd brigade.

Sometime before Christmas of 2005, our school hosted a interschool music competition, Shravya, Vaidehi and Sashwath were the members of our school team, they were hand-picked by our music teacher/most annoying lady in our school, who would torment us to the core, we were made to sing Carnatic classical music, we deliberately wouldn’t carry the music notebook to the class so that we would be sent out, this was the practice, out of 96 students in total and 78 boys, 50 – 60 boys would miss out on carrying the notebooks and would end up being sent out, just what we all wanted. The music competition was held after lunch, eating up the entire forenoon session, we knew this would be boring, so we stocked out pockets with chewing gum, masala peanuts and Parle rola-cola candy.

We were all made to sit on the ground of our prayerhall, girls sat on the corridor skirting the prayerhall. I entered the prayerhall with my pockets stuffed with candies, snacks and gum, while I was entering, I heard someone call out my name, when I turned towards the direction of the sound, it was Spandana. I was stunned, stood there speechless, I pulled my voice and trying to act as normal as possible, asked “are you singing?” , With her trademark reaction of laughing combined with tears rolling from her eyes, she said “no , have come to dance to Shravya’s song” with influences of coastal Kannada influence, I noticed that Shravya was also present there, she was previously chatting with Spandana, I said to Shravya “ah fuck! Had I know that you would be singing, I would have ran away”, she replied “get lost you loafer”, Spandana added “that’s mean”. Sashwath was standing in corner humming a song that he would sing, just to prove that I was cool to Spandana, I shouted at him “you son of a bitch, you are also singing is it?, Our school’s reputation is fucked for sure”, Sashwath didn’t react, I felt offended because he dared to insult me infront of my crush, I went and grabbed his hair and raised my hand and was about to punch him, our Sanskrit teach saw me do that, so I made it look like it I was wishing him through tough love, and whispered in Sashwath’s ears “come outside, you bastard!”.

After this I ran towards Darshan and excitedly announced to him that Spandana had come, he announced it to our entire group in such a way that my actual crush had come, I myself had not declared it to myself. Everyone looked at her and were mesmerized by her bright eyes, Darshan came and secretly showed me a cigarette which he somehow had managed to smuggle with him, he said “let’s not stay for this crappy competition, let’s go to Madhavan park” and pulled me to boys toilet and he showed me a huge hole which was dug to build an additional toilet, for some unknown reason it was left unbuilt, he asked me to enter it, I trusted him and entered it only to exit to the road behind. From there we walked toward Madhavan park and found Mahesh, Indrajith and Raghunath. Darshan lit the cigarette and took a deep drag and coughed hard, he passed it to me, which I declined, Mahesh took it from him and took two drags and finally handing it to Raghunath followed by Indrajith. I put my bag on ground angrily as I wanted to listen to Spandana sing.


The misfits among the misfits.

The next day, after the embarrassing episode of being publicly mocked for my theory of universe and secretly appreciated, both by my class teacher, at the tutorial class of my class teacher, he started a new chapter called Electro magnetic induction, after walking through Faraday’s laws, which I had learnt previous year, I asked him why can’t we use a dynamo to run a car, everyone laughed as usual, my class teacher explained it would not generate sufficient electricity to power a car and to accomplish that we need to use a huge magnet which would increase weight and hinder speed, I probed further why can’t we use a supermagnet and latest lightweight magnetic material, ofcourse I was being ridiculous at this point, I had not considered studying material science. Which was pointed by my class teacher, he was amazed that I was looking for something new always, he mocked me affectionately this time saying that I was the craziest person he had ever seen his 16 years of career, as usual everyone laughed, my eyes of course scanned for Spandana, she did not react this time, as our eyes met, she just gave a smile, I smiled back.

After the physics class, we had social studies, it was being taught by a college lecturer, it was usual practice to make Darshan sit in front row, I followed Darshan, he shouted at me to sit where I was already seated, I made myself comfortable and sat next to Raghunath. He was teaching a lesson on Rajputs, Shravya was being teased by pairing her with a guy named Niranjan, our lecturer to make the class interesting narrated a story of Prithvi Raj Chauhan and Samyuktha, Darshan compared Niranjan to Prithvi Raj Chauhan, Shravya to Samyuktha and Niranjan’s cycle to Chetak, the famous horse of Pritvi Raj Chauhan. Everyone guffawed, Shravya made an action saying she will slap Darshan, she was red with embarrassment, to add to the alternative history I compared Darshan to Mohammed Ghori, who will ultimately get killed by blinded Pritvi Raj Chauhan. Everyone laughed even more. Our social studies leacturer got mad asked us both to take our bag and go out, Darshan replied casually, “Sir I have not got my bag, can I just take my notebook and go out?” , Our teacher lost his cool and threw a piece of chalk on Darshan and thundered to get out, we both walked out laughing in our sleeves. Darshan while going out of the gate, released air from our social studies leacturer’s scooter tyres, I asked him “are you crazy, you moron, as we are sent out, he will know it’s us for sure”,Darshan replied coolly saying “we are misfits among the misfits, he will know it’s us even if we were not to be sent out”.


The Revelation

It was a known fact that I was addicted to Orkut, after that fiasco with Aishwarya, the addiction kind of phased down, she even had removed me from the friendlist. Few years later I found her on Facebook, she even had sent a friend request on the new social media, I had plainly rejected it. But I was addicted to browsing various things on net, philosophy and physics being the primary searches. I was, in a way was able to decipher the meaning “aham Brahmasmi” of Adi Shankara, using that as the foundation, I came up with my own theory of universe.

I assumed that the energy getting created, by an all pervading consciousness, of course defying the 1st law of thermodynamics, also the destruction of energy again defying, I assumed on the factor that the universe we dwell is designed only to convert energy received from the point which I called as the Brahmic point, to mass and other forms of energy. The Brahmic point was the point where energy gets created and destroyed, the point on the universe which receives the energy as the cosmic point. I assumed that the Brahmic point was a kind of thought that was beyond our perception of mass, space and time. I assumed that multiple universes gets created and destroyed simultaneously at the Brahmic point. I wrote the idea on a piece of paper and shared with my class teacher at his residence, he read it aloud mockingly and everyone laughed at it, I felt humiliated but stayed quiet. After the daily tuitions, our class teacher asked everyone except me to leave, I stayed, Darshan and Indrajith made a gesture saying that they would stay at the road corner.

Everyone left,  Lakshmisha Sir was alone that day, his wife and children had gone out to a family event, he said “are you upset?”, “No Sir” I responded, “Bhaskara, do not feel bad , your idea is just fantastic and something that’s beyond your age, I had to mock it because I had to stop you  from incepting these kind of ideas among your batch mates, few come low income families and if they clear 10th at least they may end with atleast an entry level clerical post, not everyone are born with privileges like you and nor are they ambitious as you are, don’t give up these ideas either, when time is right you can use them” he said this affectionately and ruffled my hair, “thank you sir”  I replied and gave a faint smile, “go now and loaf around with that loafer friend of your’s” he said obviously referring to Darshan, I laughed hard and pedalled harder as soon as I left his gate.


I am,what, I am!

December of 2005 was proceeding smoothly, Aishwarya would send me messages on Orkut, at one point of time she even called my landline, to good luck my brother answered and handed over the phone to me, we spoke about everything under the sun. She spoke about her dream of starting a charitable trust, educating the underprivileged, building homes for less fortunate, I wished her good luck, and she asked about my dream, I replied harvest greener and cleaner energy and utilize the same to power automobiles, she probed further, I said I would like to invent a new technique for the same and get it patented and make exorbitant amount of money and lead the life king-size, her voice suddenly changed argumentative, that was the first time I heard her like that, she said “it’s a sin to amass more than what’s required” , without losing my cool I responded “I live for myself and I have every right to live like I wish”, she added “just because you are privileged enough to get educated you do not have right to snatch other’s opportunities”, “okay, what do you suggest I do, in case I invent something awesome” I asked mockingly, “keep what’s required and donate to the society” was her response, “why?” I asked again, “there are people striving to get one single meal daily” she added , “how am I responsible to their fate?” , “You are Not, but you have a moral obligation to help them”, “I do not believe that philosophy, I believe in survival of the fittest” I further added, “capitalistist ass!” saying this , she disconnected. I pondered over her ideas, I concluded they are overly idealistic and impractical, but sent a “sorry, I hurt you” on her Orkut scrapbook, later that day, she responded immediately “that’s alright, tell me frankly are you really a materialistic humanbeing?” “Maybe, I love bikes, cars and watches” I typed, “so you do not care about society?” she asked, “I care about nature, if that’s what you mean?” I replied, to which “so you are least bothered about other people’s suffering?” She added, “I do, but I more concerned about environment and wildlife” I answered, “I thought you to be a sweet guy, but you are not, you are like everyone else” she added, I replied  “well, I am, what, I am”, that was the last I spoke with her.


The electric shock.

November 2005 was an eventful month, I was struggling for few spare notes to go to a cyber cafe to chat with Aishwarya, also had spend time studying, attend tuitions and regular street cycle races. While things were never as beautiful.

Mr.Krishnamurthy would never explain anything, he would read out the paragraph heading as a question and dictate the entire para as an answer, I clearly remember this answer, the question was “what is resurrection?”, the answer he made us write was ” when Jesus Christ passed away on the  cross, 3 days later his body was not found in the cross, he was resurrected and he travelled east to spread Christianity “, the answer he made us write was for spread of Christianity. 
One day during Mr.Krishnamurthy Sir’s class, we started tapping the ground making huge noises, we knew he would get irritated, “who is that third rated loafer!??” , he would swear at slightest hissing noise. Mahesh the class clown started to tap the ground, the canvas shoes made unpleasant noise and everyone picked up the rhythm and started making that noise. “Eat shit you bastards” he swore again, we stopped for a second and started hissing, “DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM??! I AM LORD ANGRY NARASIMHA, I WILL SUCK RAW BLOOD OUT OF YOUR VEINS”, he thundered, we couldn’t control our laughter adding further to his irritation. He noticed that one seat in the desk behind my desk was empty, he came and sat next to guy named Monish, he appeared innocent but he was an absolute “criminal”, one person named Divakar in the middle row threw a toy towards Monish, which would give mild electric shock, it had an appearance like a Wrigley’s chewing gum, which caught Krishnamurthy Sir’s attention, he snatched it from Monish as  expected and asked what it was, Monish promptly replied chewing gum, Krishnamurthy sir said “I will take one” and pulled it, which gave him a shock and he hissed, also entire class which was eagerly watching this burst out laughing, he got so psyched that day, “Fuckin pigs, Bastards, will you do the same to your father” he screamed. We were unable stop laughing, he rushed towards the exit saying he will bring our class teacher, while he was near the exit door, we in chorus hissed again. He in anger roared ” SHAMELESS BASTARDS!”.